30 Mar 2008
8 Mar 2008
Little Johnny and Maths...
Little Johnny stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:
10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each
"How much does that come to?" asked Little Johnny.
"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."
"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy.
"Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.
Johnny said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items...that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it."
10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each
"How much does that come to?" asked Little Johnny.
"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."
"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy.
"Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.
Johnny said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items...that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it."
Little Johnny is back!!!
Teacher: Why are you late?
Johnny: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Johnny: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Johnny: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Johnny: Me!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Johnny: Brotherly love.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Johnny: A teacher
Johnny: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Johnny: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Johnny: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Johnny: Me!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Johnny: Brotherly love.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Johnny: A teacher
Indian Hell
An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria..."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria..."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)