Blondes lost tracks...?!

- -Blonde Joke for the moment- -

What Kind of Tracks Are They?

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."

The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."

The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."

The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

>> Read more

Recognize the faces..?!

- -Blonde Joke for the moment- -

Parachute Jumping

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

>> Read more

Natural born citizen!!

- -Blonde Joke for the moment- -

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"

>> Read more

Blonde Joke for the moment

A blonde, brunette and red head escaped from jail. They were being chased by the police. They were running through the streets when they saw an old barn. So they ran in and found three heshin bags. They all jumped in.

The coppers walked in the barn and saw the three heshin bags.
One copper goes to the other "Kick the heshin bags to make sure nothing's in them"

So the copper walks up to the heshin bag with the brunette and kicked it.

The brunette said "Meow Meow" and the coppers thought it was a cat and walked to the next heshin bag.

The copper kicked the second heshin bag with the red head in it.
The red head said "Woof Woof" so the coppers walked to the third heshin bag thinking a dog was in the second one.

The copper kicked the third heshin bag with the blonde in it.
And the blonde said "Potatoes".

Blonde Lost Her Panty (Joke)

This blonde rang up the doctor & asked, "Doc, would you check if I left my panties behind in ur examination room?"
The doctor looked around & said, "No, they are not here."
"Oh," replied the Blonde, "then I must have left them at the dentist's."

Short Jokes for the moment : Blonde Special

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?

A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows
in another blond's ear?

A: Data transfer.

Funny Blondes

Two blondes decide to go duck hunting. Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven't bagged any.

One hunter looks at the other and says "I just don't understand it -- why aren't we getting any ducks?"

Her friend says "I keep telling you, I just don't think we're throwing the dog high enough."

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

A blonde walked into the pet store and, after looking up and down the aisles, asked the sales clerk for help.

"I'd like a box of birdseed," said the lady.

"For which kind of bird?" he asked helpfully.

"Oh, I dunno," she replied. "Whichever will grow the fastest."

Blondes trying to measure the height of a flagpole

There was three blondes at the University of Texas. The Dean gave them the job of measuring the height of the new flagpole. So they put the flag pole in the base and are then on ladders trying to measure the flagpole.

Finally an architect walks by and sees they are having trouble so he takes the pole out of the ground and lays it down and pulls out his tape measure and measures the pole. He writes the measurement on a piece of paper and walks away.

The blondes look at each other and say “Just like those idiot architects give us length when we wanted height.”

Q/A Jokes on Blondes

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. You can't, they have always been like that.

Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?

A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?

A. A wind tunnel.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?

A. She drowns it.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on top of her

Clean Blonde Joke

A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone with a problem.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" he asks.
"It's of a big rooster," she replies.
"All right," he says, "I'll come over and have a look."
When he arrives, she thanks him for coming over and leads him over to the kitchen table where she has it laid out.
He takes one look at what she's been struggling with and says, "Oh, for Pete's sake, put the cornflakes back in the box!"