Human Organ that expands 10 times

Sixth grade science teacher Mrs. Samson asks her class: “Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?” Nobody raises a hand, so she calls on the first student to look her way. “Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?” Mary stands up, blushing furiously. “How dare you ask such a question?” she says. “I’m going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!” Mrs. Sampson is shocked by Mary’s reaction, but undaunted. She asks the class the question again, and this time Sam raises his hand. Yes, Sam?” says Mrs. Sampson. “Ma’am, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye.” “Very good, Sam. Thank you.” Mrs. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, “Mary, I have 3 things to tell you: first, it’s clear that you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a DIRTY mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly disappointed.”

Little Johnny is back!!!

Teacher: Why are you late?
Johnny: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Johnny: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Johnny: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Johnny: Me!

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Johnny: Brotherly love.

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Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Johnny: A teacher

Little JOHNNY Jokes

LITTLE JOHNNY Can't Spell

Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?"

After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"

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LITTLE JOHNNY: AXE AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?"

Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe?

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LITTLE JOHNNY: MY DOG
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."

Did you copy hers?, she asked.

Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"

Little Johnny's wisdom

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. “Now, class. Observe closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
“Now, what lesson can we learn from this experiment?” the professor asked.

Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded…
“Drink whiskey and you won’t get worms!”

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Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts.
She said, “Well Johnny, it isn’t Christmas and we don’t have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don’t you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead.” After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus,
I’ve been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,Little Johnny
Now Little Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (Brat).
So, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus,
I’ve been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours Truly,Little Johnny
Well, Little Johnny knew this wasn’t totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.
Dear Jesus,
I’ve thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new bicycle?
Signed,Little Johnny
Well, Little Johnny looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother was really wanting. He crumpled up the letter and threw it in the trash can and went running outside.
He aimlessly wandered about; depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considering his actions. He finally found himself in front of a Catholic Church.
Little Johnny went inside and knelt down, looking around not knowing what he should really do. Little Johnny finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a small “Virgin Mary” one and ran out the door. He went home hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.
Jesus,
I’ve broken most of the Ten Commandments; shot spit wads in school, tore up my sister’s Barbie doll and lots more. I’m desperate. I’ve got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.
Signed,You know who