Doctor-Nurse Jokes

A Doctor had an urgent phone call from a man saying his small son had swallowed his pen.

Doctor : "All right! I"m coming soon, But what are you doing in the mean time?"

Man : "I'm using a pencil"

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Jim fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms.

Jim finished them and gave them back.

"Anything else?" The nurse asked.

"Yes," Jim thinks for a while and said, "I’m a bachelor."

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Doctor : "What would you do first if you caught Rabies?"

Trainee Nurse : "First of all I'll bite my mother in law"

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Tom and Johnny were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, Johnny suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. Tom jumped in and saved Johnny and the medical director came to know of his heroic act.

Then doctor said to Tom:
"We have good news and bad news for you, Tom. The good news is we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient. The bad news is,the patient, Johnny whom you had saved hung himself in the toilet."

Tom said:
"He didn’t hang himself. He was wet after drowning so I hung him there to dry."

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Nurse : "Wake up man"

Patient : "Why what's the matter"

Nurse : "Nothing, I just forgot to give the prescribed sleeping pills"

Short Doctor Jokes

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.
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A doctor said to his car mechanic, "Your debit is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam, but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year."
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I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears.
His advice: 'Don't answer it.'

Blonde Lost Her Panty (Joke)

This blonde rang up the doctor & asked, "Doc, would you check if I left my panties behind in ur examination room?"
The doctor looked around & said, "No, they are not here."
"Oh," replied the Blonde, "then I must have left them at the dentist's."