Funny short joke for the moment

A: I have the perfect son.

B: Does he smoke?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he drink whiskey?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he ever come home late?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Photo gives energy..?

Husband : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Wife : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Husband : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Wife : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"

Psychiatrists

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the light bulb has to WANT to change.

>> Read more

Female Comebacks - Funny Q/A

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I’ll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I’m a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what’s your sign?

Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Funny Couple Jokes

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."

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First guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

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Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less than his wife.

Short Jokes for the moment : Blonde Special

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?

A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows
in another blond's ear?

A: Data transfer.

Funny Short Jokes for the moment

Q. Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?
A. Cut off your head.

Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.

Q: On which side does a chicken have the most feathers?
A: The outside.

Q: How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose touches the ceiling.

Little Johnny is back!!!

Teacher: Why are you late?
Johnny: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Johnny: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Johnny: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

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Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Johnny: Me!

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Johnny: Brotherly love.

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Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Johnny: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Johnny: A teacher

Miscellaneous, Short Q/A Jokes...

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

Father : No. Why do you ask that?

Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

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Lady : Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask I can take this train to Kuala Lumpur.

Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

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Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!

Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at home.

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Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

Q/A Jokes on Blondes

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. You can't, they have always been like that.

Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?

A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?

A. A wind tunnel.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?

A. She drowns it.

Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on top of her